Have you ever come across something – a sight, sound, smell or taste, which instantly triggered a memory? When something triggers a memory, it also triggers the feelings that accompany that memory. Some time ago, I bought a small book The complete poems of Rupert Brooke in a second hand book shop. I was studying the First World War poets at the time and thought the book might be useful. It had sat, untouched, on my bookshelf for years but the other day, seeking inspiration, I took it down from the shelf and was instantly transported back to the day I had bought it – a lovely summer’s day of shopping in Cambridge, followed by an afternoon cream tea in the Orchard at Granchester. Of the company of good friends and the warmth of the sun filtering through the trees, the chink of china cups being replaced in saucers and the buzzing of insects.
On flicking through the book’s pages however, I made a poignant and unexpected discovery which I had missed when I originally purchased the book. Pressed within its foxed, musty pages was an old, but perfectly preserved poppy.
The book had originally been given as a Christmas present in 1935 as evidenced by the inscription inside the front cover – “With best wishes to Dod from Dad – Xmas 1935.” It set me thinking back to that Christmas of 1935, who was Dod? What happened to them? Where had the poppy come from? Who did it commemorate? And who had placed it within the pages of the book? I could not help but think that, behind that gently pressed poppy which had lain undisturbed within the words of Rupert Brooke for probably at least 70 years, lay a story. One of loss, of what might have been, of remembrance.
Stories have been around for centuries. From the earliest cave drawings which told visual stories, tales told around a camp fire and passed from generation to generation by word of mouth, to written and printed narratives and the stories we tell today via social media – blogs, videos and podcasts. It is in our nature to tell stories and share life events – even some of our nursery rhymes such as Ring a Ring of Roses have their origins in historical events.
A celebrant is, among many things, a story teller. We help to tell the story of a life – whether that is one that has been long, one cut short or one of what might have been, and we try to tell these stories in such a way so that those listening feel engaged and connected, that they are part of the experience and the journey that the story takes them on. Indeed in many cases, part of the story itself. A good funeral is one that you remember because it perfectly reflected someone very special to you and their story. That the story was meaningful as well as being uplifting. It brought people together and unified them in the space that everyone held for the person who has died. As the writer Oliver Sachs said “the telling of our life stories is perhaps one of the most powerful therapeutic tools available to man.”
How would you like your life story to be told? And how would you like to be remembered by those you leave behind? If you are thinking ahead and would like some help to plan your funeral story, then please don’t hesitate to contact me.
